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Review of “10,000 B.C.” (2008) PG-13 109min

March 7th, 2008 by Maxim · 10 Comments · 35,824 Views

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10,000 B.C. (2008) Warner Bros. PicturesThe plot: Narrator (Omar Sharif) talks about a legend about a blue-eyes child. It’s a girl who was discovered by tribal hunters in the mountains clinched to the body of her dead mother. Her mother and their clan were killed or enslaved by the “four-legged demons”. The girl, Evolet (Camilla Belle), is adopted by the mountain hunters tribe and grows up there alongside with a outcast boy. The boy named D’Leh (Steven Strait), who grows up with her, falls in love with her. Everything would be perfect, but eventually the “four-legged demons” arrive at the valley and take everyone they didn’t kill into slavery. D’Leh and his mentor Tic’Tic (Cliff Curtis, who often plays evil Middle-Eastern guys – The Piano, Deep Rising, The Insider, Three Kings, Blow, The Majestic, Collateral Damage, Traffic, Runaway Jury, Fracture, Live Free Or Die Hard) decide to try to rescue their fellow tribesmen from slavery.

The good: Nice too see all sorts of people working together on a common goal. Music by Harald Kloser and Thomas Wanker with big percussion and horn section was nice and inspiring; unfortunately the story by the same Mr. Kloser was not so good. Acting is as good as it can be considering the terrible material. Camilla Belle is pretty, and that was her role – to be pretty. I remember her in Jurassic Park 10 years ago – she was a cute little girl back then too – but just like in this movie didn’t have more then 3 lines to say. I liked Cliff Curtis’s performance. Affif Ben Badra was a very charismatic Warlord. Some nice landscapes shot in New Zeland, but they do not compare to Peter Jackson’s.

Camilla Belle and Steven Strait in Warner Bros. Pictures’ “10,000 B.C.” (2008)The bad: Everything you see is a stereotype and cliche. All men are nicely shaved, women wear bras and have perfect teeth and manicured hands. They use a lot of eye-color. The costumes are a cliche too. CGIs could have been better – the motion is rather fake. All the antagonists look wicked and have abnormal voices, just like Persians in 300 – as a matter of fact they look almost the same. The story is silly for lack of a worse word: it’s a standard schema for a movie about the “B.C.”: you’ve got your good, but oppressed guys, there’s a girl, the girl is kidnapped, the good guys try to get their enslaved people back, so they have to travel through all types of terrain (snow,mountains,jungles,desert), get attacked by three different types of prehistoric animals and fight for freedom and equality along the way. Of course, a white man has to lead the blacks (although if it was vice verse, wouldn’t that be criticised as a cliche too?). And, of course, a white man unites all tribes to battle with his short motivational speech. The mountain hunters hunt and sleep in the snow shirt-less. Of course, the civilised Arab-types have better clothes. By the end of the movie Evolet gets to change her rags for those Roman-style blue dress too, and feels completely comfortable in it. The good guys speak English, but with funny accent and roll their Rs. The rest of the peoples need subtitles. I didn’t know they had telescopes 10000 BC….

The summary: This movie could as well be called 7,000 Years Before 300, or had been made as a cartoon. This is a movie for kids of 1st though 3rd grade. “ABUDAJAJE!”. If you are looking for an intelligent movie about anything “B.C.”, you are up for a disappointment. You are better off renting Discovery channel’s “Walking With Dinosaurs”. This is not an epic. Making every object grotesquely big doesn’t make it epic. For an extra $1 you can see it in digital presentation in select theatres.

The credits: Director Roland Emmerich | Written by Roland Emmerich & Harald Kloser | D’Leh – Steven Strait, Evolet – Camilla Belle, Tic’Tic – Cliff Curtis, Warlord – Affif Ben Badra, Old Mother – Mona Hammond, Narrator – Omar Sharif | Original Music – Harald Kloser & Thomas Wanker | Warner Bros. Pictures.

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Tags: Action · Adventure · Drama · Epics/Historical · Fantasy · Movies · New Zeland · USA

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10 responses so far ↓

  • 1 admin // Mar 10, 2008 at 2:54 am

    Because kids might like it: it’s a descent fantasy movie for children, like Robin Hood or the one that I liked when i was in first grade (about 30 years ago) with rubber dynasauruses and other prehistoric animals and cave women in leather bras and cave men with beards and haircuts from the 70s: “One Million Years B.C.” (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060782/) from 1966.

  • 2 Bob // Mar 8, 2008 at 2:29 am

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    Come on man, it’s a Roland Emmerich movie… can’t expect more from him…

  • 3 Tom // Mar 8, 2008 at 1:30 pm

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    I don’t get it. Why did you give it 3 stars? Nothing in your review is remotely positive. Sounds like 1 or 2 stars at the very most.

  • 4 admin // Mar 9, 2008 at 6:54 pm

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    Because kids might like it: it’s a descent fantasy movie for children, like Robin Hood or the one that I liked when i was in first grade (about 30 years ago) with rubber dynasauruses and other prehistoric animals and cave women in leather bras and cave men with beards and haircuts from the 70s: “One Million Years B.C.” (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060782/) from 1966.

  • 5 Reginald Williams // Mar 12, 2008 at 7:42 am

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    Like I said in a review I wrote, 10,000 BC is Apocalypto super-lite.

    Up above for Voting, I gave this film 3 stars only because I couldn’t get it to say 2.5.

  • 6 Honeul // Mar 29, 2008 at 9:15 am

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    I saw the movie and I think the story is almost the same with Apocalypse, don’t you think?

  • 7 admin // Mar 29, 2008 at 12:31 pm

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    Sorry, it’s a bit confusing. The stars for user votes are to rate the review, not the movie. I shall make it clearer.

  • 8 admin // Mar 29, 2008 at 12:33 pm

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    Honeul, I think you misspelled “Apocalypto”. But thanks for the comments anyway.

  • 9 Zuzi // Jul 30, 2009 at 11:12 am

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    I don’t see any telescope in the movie. If you think of the thing that guy use after he have seen the scars on Evolets hand, that’s not a telescope. It looks more like a measuring device of some kind.

    I think the movie was awesome. I’m not siting there like “oh my god! This is so historically inaccurate! I can’t watch this!” It was never meant to be historically accurate. It’s a frickin’ movie. It cannot be sound and explosions in space, but still there is in Star Wars. Why is nobody complaining about that?

  • 10 bad hat // Aug 26, 2010 at 9:35 am

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    The boats in this film did not appear until the 17th. century AD!

  • 11 Lola // Mar 29, 2011 at 9:58 pm

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    Steven Strait is so gorgeous in this movie, I don’t even care that the effects are lame and the story is steriotypical. Although those are all valid points, I love it for the eye candy :)

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